When the Whole Country Feels High-Conflict: A Note to Parents

Finding calm in the chaos

If the last year has felt like living inside a custody battle you never agreed to, you are not alone. Many parents describe feeling scared, angry, and disoriented as they watch those in power make extreme moves and then deny, minimize, or spin what happened.​

Your nervous system is not overreacting. The tactics you’re seeing at the national level—sudden escalations, threats, blaming, rewriting the narrative—are the same tactics high‑conflict people use in families and courtrooms. The good news: the same skills that get families through high‑conflict ordeals can help you and your children now.​

1. Name what you’re feeling (you’re not “too sensitive”)

When politics feel like emotional warfare, parents often judge themselves for “caring too much.” In reality, research shows that people who are more engaged and who care about the future often feel more political anxiety—especially when leaders act in ways that threaten norms and safety.​

Try this:

• Pause and put words to your state: “I feel scared,” “I feel enraged,” “I feel helpless.” Naming emotions helps calm the brain’s alarm system.​

• Notice the body: tight chest, racing heart, insomnia, doom‑scrolling. These are common trauma responses to collective crises, not proof that you’re weak.​

You would never tell your child, “You’re crazy for feeling scared.” Offer yourself the same compassion.

2. See the pattern: this is high‑conflict behavior

High‑conflict people, whether in families or in politics, tend to follow a recognizable pattern: they escalate, blame, and distort.​

At the national level, this looks like:

• Dramatic, unilateral actions (military operations, threats against other countries, sudden policy shifts).​

• Then: denial, justification, and narrative flooding—“That wasn’t an attack, it was a perfect mission”; “We didn’t coerce anyone; we just make strong deals.”​

When you label this as high‑conflict behavior rather than “my personal failure to stay calm,” you reclaim some power. The problem is the pattern, not your reaction.

3. Protect your family’s nervous systems from the news firehose

Your brain and body were not designed to ingest a 24/7 stream of frightening images and conflicting narratives. Kids’ brains definitely weren’t. Evidence‑informed guidance for parents is consistent: honest information in small doses, paired with safety and connection, is far better than constant exposure.​

Practical steps:

• Create news boundaries: pick one or two trusted sources, check them at set times, and turn them off the rest of the day.​

• Keep scary visuals off in the background; even if children aren’t “watching,” they are absorbing tone, images, and your micro‑reactions.​

• When your child hears something frightening, start by asking, “What have you heard? How does it feel in your body?” Then correct misinformation with simple, honest language.​

You are allowed to say, “Yes, some leaders are making harmful choices—and here are the many people working to keep us safe and hold them accountable.” Both can be true.​

4. Practice “coping ahead” for political stress

In high‑conflict divorce, waiting for the next blowup keeps you frozen. Planning for it—without obsessing—can actually lower anxiety. Therapies like CBT, DBT, and ACT use “coping ahead” to help people face future stress with a plan instead of panic.​

You can adapt that here:

• Identify upcoming stressors: major speeches, court rulings, elections, anniversaries of traumatic events.​

• Make a micro‑plan: “On those days, I will limit social media, text one supportive friend, and do something grounding with my child (walk, game, movie, ritual).”​

• Choose 1–2 actions that give you a sense of agency—signing a petition, donating, calling a representative, or showing up for a local mutual‑aid effort—then stop. Over‑engagement can backfire into burnout.​

The goal is not to be numb; it is to be resourced enough to keep going.

5. Talk to your kids about power, safely

Research on children and politics suggests that what helps most is not shielding them from everything, but helping them feel seen, informed at their level, and reassured that they are loved and not alone.​

You might:

• Explain power in simple terms: “Sometimes people with a lot of power use it in ways that are unfair or unkind. Our job is to be people who use our power to protect and care for others.”​

• Model critical thinking without despair: “That’s what this leader says. Other people—including judges, lawyers, and regular folks—disagree and are working hard to stop harmful things.”​

• Reassure them about the layers of safety they do have: family, school, community, helpers, and many adults whose entire job is to watch the powerful closely.​

You are teaching your child how to live in a world where both harm and help exist—without collapsing into denial or hopelessness.

6. Build tiny islands of safety and meaning

Collective trauma research shows that resilience grows from connection, routine, and small, repeated experiences of safety and choice—especially during long, uncontrollable crises.​

Consider:

• Rituals: weekly movie night, shared meals, bedtime check‑ins, “rose‑thorn‑bud” (one good thing, one hard thing, one thing you’re looking forward to).​

• Community: one supportive group—online or local—where you can be honest about your fear and anger without being told to “calm down” or “just be positive.”​

• Nervous system tools: short walks, paced breathing, cold water on the face, shaking out tension, or grounding with the five senses; these are simple, evidence‑based ways to tell your body, “Right now, in this room, we are safe enough.”​

You do not have to feel calm about the world to offer your child a calmer home base.

If you’re a parent navigating high‑conflict separation and this wider political storm, it makes sense that you feel like everything is “too much.” Mind Monarch exists precisely for people in that overlap—those holding their children, their cases, and their sanity in systems that can feel hostile and gaslighting.

If you’d like support mapping your specific situation—what you can’t control, what you can, and how to stay regulated enough to keep advocating for yourself and your kids—you can reach out for a free 20‑minute consultation. Mind Monarch is designed to help you move through chaos with more clarity, strategy, and steadiness, even when the headlines don’t calm down.

Free Consultation

20min

Book Now