We talk a lot about traumatized clients. We rarely talk about traumatized professionals. Behind every high conflict divorce, custody fight, or meltdown in a Facebook group, there are coaches, attorneys, and other helpers absorbing an enormous amount of emotional chaos. Some of that chaos is understandable. Some of it is abuse.

People think the best revenge is your paper—your money, your financial wins, the feeling of dominating someone. It isn’t. The best revenge is your peace: a loving partner, a child who feels safe with you, real friendships, and a life no longer built around someone else’s chaos. This post explores how high‑conflict abusers grift, play the victim, and drain others—and how your true power is in staying gracious, setting firm boundaries, and building a life they can’t touch or co